Audit turned me blue

Bismillah...

I haven't post new entry for a couple of months. No idea maybe. However last few months myself was busy with audit since a company currently I'm working with is striving towards ISO. Till the big day appeared last Monday, something big happened. Guess what? Something really complicated happened that made me absolutely frustrated. It is not a good idea to mention it in here. And till today, after 4 days of auditing, i still feel like 'feel less'. No words can describe my feeling. It worst than numb and dumb. And i try 'fast food remedy' as i always do when feel down to cure myself. But those things were failed to heal my numbness heart. But sometimes I would say whateveRRR.

It is normal when the emotion becomes unstable, negative perceptions and thoughts keep penetrating our mind. Sometimes i think i have made a really big mistake by rejecting an offer as science officer even the position as contract staff. This thought is getting more logical after 2 of my colleagues told me the same opinion. I don't truly know myself until i become a little bit paranoid in decision making. Oh my God! Please show me the right path. Ameen...

I am just wondering why people so hard to accept their own mistake. No one is flawless. Sebaik baik manusia ialah our Messenger, Nabi Muhammad. Obviously its a negative feeling when people blame you are not good, why do mistake, fool and bla bla bla. Its normal in life. Mistake do occur. The smart people will learn from the past. I remember a sentence and not sure who quotes it. "Wisdom and knowledge are things the believer lacks." Do not afraid to look stupid in the beginning. Sooner or later, inshaallah we become so good. Work harder and then work smart. As we getting older, body language and someone's reaction towards what we are talking about at that time really influence our life. But how we adapt and react it reflects our maturity...Really!!!